Life

So I am sitting here, contemplating what life is, what it may possibly mean, and so forth, and I am drawing a blank. I mean, I really have no clue. I know that I am alive, that I love my family, and that there has to be something more than what I am doing right now, because if this is all that life is then it is mostly pointless. I have a problem with people who have kids then act like their only purpose in life is to make sure that the kids have a good life. I mean, yes, it is important to be a good parent, but how good of a parent are you if you are only giving the child the example that life is so limited instead of you, yourself, also living? I feel like I am stuck in a rut and it is not making me happy. Don't get me wrong, I love my man, I love my child, I love my family. But come on, I don't feel like I am succeeding on a personal level. I don't feel like I am really doing much of anything for the world, and surely not for myself. Is this what being a mom amounts to? If you watch the movies or television you will quickly come to believe that there is no balance. You are either a bad mother with a life, or a perfect mother with no life. My god. I need to get out of the house.